Woman of Worth

At the church I belong to, a couple of us had it on our heart to get a women’s conference going which would happen on Women’s Day, the 9th of August.

The theme that we came up with, was “Women of Worth”. It already spoke to me, because I do struggle with feelings of worthlessness – not being good enough, beautiful enough, perfect enough.

So when praying about the general point of this conference, we had 4 topics for speakers to use:

As a woman of worth I am:
• Known by name;
• Beautiful;
• Valuable; and
• Created as beloved with Christ in me.

I was going to do one of the talks, and we let the other speakers pick their topics. I was quietly laughing to myself, saying: “Just imagine I end up with the beautiful topic.” Which is exactly what happened.

Putting this talk together was a challenge, and when I presented it, it felt like God was ministering to me more than anyone else in the room.

Anyway, a couple of months down the line, we were doing the R12 programme in our church, and one of the sessions was about not thinking more (or less) highly of yourself than you should. I couldn’t be at that particular session, but when I got home, I read the devotional I got, and got a fat fright. God challenged me and reminded me about my little talk on Women’s Day, and asked me when I am planning to do something about my low self-esteem? (By the way, I hate that word; I might tell you why some time.) In my mind’s eye, I had a picture of me standing in the middle of a cloudburst. The rain was coming down in torrents, but I was so heavily insulated by my water-proof, soundproof, smell-proof raincoat that I didn’t even know it was raining. God showed me that the rain was all the love that gets showered on me every day by God and by people who love me, and the rain coat is the distorted picture of my own worth that I have built up over the years.

So I realized that day that yes, it feels really great to hear that I am loved, made for a purpose, known by name, and all the good stuff. But the challenge for me: How can I get it to stick and drop from my ears to my heart?

But wait: Have I gotten morbid? No, this is a good story. You’ll just have to wait for the next instalment to see if I’m telling the truth or not. 🙂

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